1. frenchhornsandunicorns:

    *wears a fanny pack in public* only god can judge me

     

  2. sufferingsam:

    Do boys not approach me because they’re intimidated by how hot I am or because I’m ugly as fuck.. The world may never know

     

  3. thegamergames:

    Think of how awkward it was for your mother to call your dad “daddy” when you were little

     

  4. swaqqur:

    "my anaconda, don’t!" i scream as my pet anaconda slithers toward the hot dog stand. they don’t have buns.

     

    1. Me: Hey you know what would be cool? Having sex in a haunted abandoned insane asylum. Then talking shit about ghosts. Then reading the weird passages about this fucked up leather bound book we found.
    2. Boyfriend: No.
     

  5. "If we are what we eat, then cannibals are the only normal ones."
    — The boy from my algebra class during biology class (via mudkipknight)
     

  6. *heavy southern accent*

    teamfreefuckyourself:

    What kinda backwards country is this?

     

  7. tavrosgamzee:

    Brokeback mountain more like bareback mountain amirite

     

  8. just-a-crackhead:

    One day, there will be no wars and everyone’s troubles a will be solved by a Pokemon battle.

     

  9. byesexualstiles:

    I passed some guy today and said “oh my god!!!” And he turned around and looked me dead in the eyes and said “doesn’t exist”